The 15 Types of Ottawa Senators Trades

By Luke Peristy

Well, spring is nearly here and the smell of trade speculation is in the air. Either that, or I stepped in something. *checks shoes* Nope, it's trade speculation.

Anyway, I thought I'd try to lend an insight into the future by examining the past. Just what is Ottawa keen to do over the next 48 hours? Well, here are some possibilities for the trades we might see.

The "Blockbuster"

As Seen When: Ottawa acquires Dany Heatley for Marian Hossa and Greg de Vries (2005)

The original Ottawa Senators Blockbuster trade was, of course, the trade that brought Zdeno Chara, Bill Muckalt, and 1st Round Pick to Ottawa in exchange for Alexei Yashin. The 1st Rounder turned into Jason Spezza, and the trade ended up being a fleecing for Ottawa. Frankly, Yashin for Muckalt straight up still would have been a win for Ottawa.

FYI: Ottawa's acquisition of Bobby Ryan earlier this season was a Blockbuster trade of the "We Just Lost Our Beloved Captain for Nothing So We Better Try to Fix This Real Quick" variety. Except in similarly extenuating circumstances, Blockbusters are largely extinct, just like the video rental store after which they are named.

Odds of Occurring: 5%. Just like in the original, the next blockbuster trade involving Ottawa will probably involve Jason Spezza being moved, but Bryan Murray has already said that's not happening, so that settles that, then. Move along. Nothing to see here.

The "Gun to the Head"

As Seen When: Ottawa trades Dany Heatley and a 5th Round Pick for Jonathan Cheechoo, Milan Michalek, and a 2nd Round Pick (2009)

Imagine your wife asked for a divorce and then told you that not only did you have to move out, you could only move into a new place that she chose. Your new place was a real dive, but you brought in an expert to renovate. Meanwhile your ex-wife let herself go and it's probably just as well you're not with her any more, or at least that's what all your friends say. That's the Dany Heatley trade. It's hard to say who won, except if you look at this, in which case it's obvious that Ottawa totally won. At least, that's what all our friends say...

Odds of Occurring: 0%. Good news, Ottawa; there's no rumours of disgruntled athletes who want to be traded out of Ottawa immediately, only rumours of disgruntled athletes who won't be re-signing in Ottawa at the conclusion of their contracts. Sleep easy, everyone!

The "White Flag"

As Seen When: Ottawa trades Alexandre Daigle for Vaclav Prospal, Pat Falloon, and a 2nd Round Pick (1998)

As Forrest Gump once said, "Prospects are like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're going to get." (Hey, you can't spell "Gump" without "GM"...) At a certain point, a GM realizes that the coconut he drafted is never going to turn into the creamy nougat he needs. This leaves the GM with two options: he can either try to force that coconut down the fans' throats, or he can convince some other GM that the coconut will probably end up being a dark chocolate, and try to get a mint, a caramel, and a macadamia back.

In this metaphor, Brian Lee for Matt Gilroy is the equivalent of a coffee one for a cherry one.

Odds of Occurring: 15%. If the Senators were going to give up on a highly touted prospect, I'd imagine his name would start with "Jared Cowen" and end with nothing, because it's Jared Cowen.

The "We Cannot Let This Guy Continue to be Our Goalie Under Any Circumstances"

As Seen When: Ottawa trades Patrick Lalime for a 4th Round Pick (2004)

It is a fact of life that every goalie will have a bad game now and then. Not every goalie will have this happen to them during a Game 7, however. Just look at John Muckler's reaction in that video. That's the look of a man whose faith has been shaken. Patrick Lalime was The Great Pumpkin, and Joe Nieuwendyk was Lucy telling Muckler's Linus that he's a fool. After the game, Patrick Lalime was offered a trade or an exorcism. The power of Christ compelled him to play for St. Louis the next season.

Odds of Occurring: 1%. I mean, I'm pretty sure nothing unusual is going to happen here, but you just never know when Robin Lehner is involved.

The "Addition of Grit and Toughness"

As Seen When: Ottawa acquires Rob Ray from Buffalo for "Future Considerations" (2003)

Ottawa's trade for Matt Kassian last season was another classic "Addition of Grit and Toughness" trade. It was also a trade I agreed with. I remember watching a game where Erik Karlsson and Sergei Gonchar were both injured, Chris Phillips had to fight someone, and Ottawa was one freak accident away from the phrase "Mike Lundin: 2nd pairing defenseman" going from a dream to reality. Kassian's addition to the team meant that Phillips could go back to his main role: pointing at the other team's players.

Odds of Occurring: 7%. My impression is that Ottawa is losing games because of an inability to prevent goals, but that hasn't stopped the Senators coaching staff from experimenting with adding grit by gluing sandpaper to Mike Hoffman. Seriously, that guy's willing to try anything to stick in the NHL.

The "This Guy Killed Us in the Playoffs Seven Years Ago"

As Seen When: Ottawa acquires Peter Bondra for Brooks Laich, a 2nd round draft pick and future considerations (2004)

Say what you will about the Bondra trade, I think we can all agree that it typified the sort of player evaluation for which John Muckler is justly famed.

Odds of Occurring: 5%. I see you, Francois Beauchemin.

The "We Just Made a Playoff Run Last Year! Surely All We Need is More Veterans."

As Seen When: Ottawa acquires Shean Donovan for Peter Schafer (2007) and also Ottawa acquires Cory Stillman and Mike Commodore for Joe Corvo and Patrick Eaves (2008) and also Ottawa acquires Martin Lapointe for a 6th Round Pick (2008)

Donovan, Stillman, Commodore, and Lapointe combined for 39 P in 150 GP, but their contributions in terms of leadership literally can't be quantified.

Odds of Occurring: 20%. I still see you, Francois Beauchemin...

The "Rearranging of the Titanic's Deck Chairs" AKA The "Winger for Spezza"

As Seen When: Ottawa acquires Chris Campoli and Mike Comrie for Dean McAmmond and a 1st Round Pick (2009)

Sometimes anything short of trading half the roster isn't going to make a bit of difference to a hockey team's results, but does that mean it's not worth trying? When things look bleak, is it better to just give up and focus on next year?

Well, I kinda think so, but I'm just some dude on the internet.

Odds of Occurring: 70%. Eugene Melnyk has already said the Senators are not sellers, and Eugene Melnyk doesn't know the meaning of buyer's remorse.

The "Reclamation Project"

As Seen When: Ottawa trades David Rundblad and a 2nd Round Pick for Kyle Turris

David Rundblad was going to be The Next Erik Karlsson, but Bryan Murray looked at his lineup and said "We've already got one of those" and traded him for Kyle Turris. Turris's subsequent development into a 1st-line centre in the face of Rundblad's development into a healthy scratch has made the trade the most lauded of Murray's GM tenure, and rightfully so. However, Murray's earlier risky moves, such as trading Antoine Vermette for Pascal Leclaire and a 2nd Round Pick and trading a 3rd-Round Pick for Nikita Filatov, had been less successful. Still, these sorts of moves are about imagining "what might be", and you can't put a price tag on hope and promise.

Well, actually you can. Antoine Vermette and some draft picks would be the price for that, as it turns out.

Odds of Occurring: 15%. Bryan Murray's shown that he's not afraid of a little risk if he likes the odds, which is why he has a standing invitation to the weekly Bonk's Mullet Dot Com Poker Game. 

The "Come On, Columbus. You Owe Us One."

As Seen When: Ottawa trades Nick Foligno for Marc Methot (2012)

Bryan Murray, having already established himself as a loose cannon riverboat gambler in the eyes of the Blue Jackets, finally cashed in on the long con he was running when he traded Nick Foligno for Marc Methot. That's right, Bryan Murray is a stone-cold killer! Just look at his poker face. He gives away nothing.

Odds of Occurring: 10%. Marian Gaborik's name has been showing up in connection with the Senators over the last few days which means that Leafs fans may soon be able to recycle all those "Maid Marian" jokes they made back when Hossa was still with Ottawa.

The "Change of Scenery"

As Seen When: Ottawa trades Brian Elliot for Craig Anderson (2011)

When Ottawa traded their struggling starting goaltender for another struggling goaltender, it didn't seem like it would make a difference. Then Craig Anderson finished 2011 11-5-1 with a .939 sv % and 2.05 GAA, effectively ending Ottawa's chances of getting a Top 3 draft pick. How bad was 2011 for the Ottawa Senators? The team couldn't even tank properly.

Odds of Occurring: 10%. If Ottawa traded Jared Cowen for Tyler Myers straight up, it's hard to know which fanbase would be more outraged, which is how you know it's a fair deal.

Ha, just kidding! Buffalo would be thrilled with this deal. Myers is more untradeable than Bitcoin, right now, and almost as big of a waste of money.

The "Take my wife...Please! But seriously, I'd really like you to take my wife."

As seen when: Ottawa trades Alex Kovalev for a conditional 7th Round Pick (2011)

One doesn't really shop players in this sort of situation. You just leaves them in front of the rink with a sign saying "Free To a Good Team", and hope someone leaves you a bag of pucks or warm body in return.

Odds of Occurring: 20%. I mean, who wouldn't want former Stanley Cup Winners Competitors Joe Corvo and Chris Phillips on their team?

The "This Might Come in Handy Later"

As Seen When: Ottawa trades a 2nd Round Pick for Ben Bishop (2012)

Late in the 2011-12 season, Ben Bishop was languishing too far down his team's depth chart. Ottawa seized on the opportunity to get a good prospect in a move that was thought to be smart asset management.

Odds of Occurring: 15%. Bryan Murray says he's willing to make a trade as long as it improves the team. That's why I love him. What other GM in the league would be so bold?

The "We Have Too Many Goalies. Not Even Joking!"

As Seen When: Ottawa trades Ben Bishop for Cory Conacher and a 4th Round Pick (2013)

Late in the 2013 season, Ben Bishop was languishing too far down his team's depth chart. Ottawa seized on the opportunity to get a good prospect in a move that was thought to be smart asset management...for Tampa Bay.

Odds of Occurring: 40% (sort of). Ok, I wouldn't say Ottawa currently has a surplus of goaltending, but I could see the Sens making the cousin of this trade: The "We Have Too Many Defense Prospects" Trade.

The "Gary Roberts"

As Seen When: Ottawa acquires Oleg Saprykin and a 7th Round Pick for a 2nd Round Pick (2007)

Hmmm, that can't be right...

Odds of Occurring: 0%, now and forever. Sorry, Eugene.